Dear caring partners struggling with accepting your partners job,
Your concern, insecurity and confusion are understandable. We live in a society where sex work is misunderstood and relationships are defined by certain boundaries that don’t take what we do into account.
I can’t speak for everyone, but let me offer you how it is for some of us.
We are just doing a job. Sometimes our bodies react to the physical goings on but the truth is, we wouldn’t be doing this if we weren’t getting paid. This is not sex as it exists between you and I, partner. This is a business transaction. When I am doing my job, I am pleasuring my client with a fantasy; not just about the situation going on between us but a fantasy of who I am.
The client doesn’t get me, they get the persona. The character. They get the false lashes and the hair extensions and the layers of makeup and the shape-wear and the fake laughter and the voice raised three decibels to sound more girly and vacuous.
You get the real me.
You get me bare faced, unshaven, having sex with you because I want you. Because you turn me on, because I care about you and want to be intimate with you. My pleasure is real with you. Sex work doesn’t change that, in fact, it just confirms it.
Sometimes I need to be left alone and don’t want to be touched; I need to own my own body. I am touched and grabbed and bending over and bucking and swinging my hips all day in uncomfortable shoes, and I need to get back into my body, the real me. It’s a peculiarity of sex work, and it has nothing to do with you. When this happens, I just need you to offer me that space and give me time to come back. Understand how taxing my job is. Listen to me when I tell you these things, trust me, because without trust we have nothing anyway.
Partner, you don’t need to feel threatened by my job. Don’t listen to society, listen to me.
SW9
home message theme
Roxy
21
London escort, Feminist, Sexworker, Body positive, INFP.
I keep this blog to document my life as a sexually open submissive escort in London who hopes to one day write my own book.
Feel free to join me for the journey.
The thing about people with crazy ex girlfriends is that they make you feel special because they tell you all the ways that you’re superior to their crazy ex girlfriends. “She liked Taylor Swift,” they’ll say, and then they’ll say, “I’m so glad you’re not the kind of person…
Equating sex trafficking victims with sex workers is like equating agricultural slaves with farmers.
also yo if you’re not a sex worker don’t use words like ‘prostitute’, ‘whore’ etc
they’re not your words
BE VAIN AND BE UNASHAMED. LOVE YOURSELF FIERCELY AND TELL ANYONE WHO DOESN’T LIKE IT TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES.
Suppose a man makes unwanted social advances to a woman in, let’s say, a restaurant or theatre, and she eventually has to tell him loudly or angrily to get lost. She is the one who will be perceived as rude, hostile, aggressive, and obnoxious. His verbal aggression and invasiveness are accepted and expected; her rudeness (or mere curtness) in getting rid of him is noticed and condemned. One of our great myths is that a “real lady” can and should handle any difficulty, defuse any assault, without ever raising her voice or losing her manners. Female rudeness or violence in resistance to male aggression has often been taken to prove that the woman was not a lady in the first place, and therefore deserved no respect from the aggressor or sympathy from others.
―
D.A. Clarke, “A Woman With a Sword” (via foodbeersexwhatever)
If you thought I was only going to reblog this once you were dead wrong
(via callingoutbigotry)
